Is there really a right way or a right time to do it?
Let me answer that for you…NO!
Don’t bother reading all the books and pamphlets and listening to those who tell you how and when to do it.
For real, if one more person asks me when I am going to potty train my youngest daughter — I am going to lose it. I mean, am I missing something? Is there some amazing mom award ceremony at the end of potty training?
I have successfully potty trained my two older daughters. My oldest embraced potty training and was easily duped by stickers, sticker charts, and rousing cheers. I was a mom star. I had the “Elmo Goes on the Potty” DVD, I read articles online about potty training, sang ridiculous songs, and had countless books about going “pee pee on the potty”. She was trained by 18 months. Oh crap — sorry, I didn’t mean to be one of those bragging moms…
Looking back, I realize four things.
It was definitely a fluke.
She is a people-pleaser and has been since day one.
I was in the, “I’m a new mom, and I need to do everything just right phase.”
I’m so freaking over that now.
After the simplicity of training my older daughter, I naively thought, my middle daughter would follow the steps of her big sister. She took a little longer, but she eventually did it — when she was good and ready — as she does with most things in her life.
As for my third daughter — my little blue-eyed, strawberry blonde haired, completely adorable baby, who has catapulted me and my husband over the edge in so many ways! Well, she could give two shits (no pun intended) about potty training or any expectation thereof whatsoever!
We have an impressive assortment of “Froggy Potties”, Minnie Mouse and princess toilet covers, and a wardrobe of Disney princess underwear. And yet, she has absolutely no problem walking around with a huge load in her diaper — be it pee or poop.
On Mother’s Day, when my dear grandmother asked me for the 500th time how potty training was going with Piper, I answered with surprising resignation that she has no interest in it. None. Zip. Zero. And honestly, I am done pushing the issue.
Piper is smart — really smart. And clever. She is well aware when she pees and even tells me before she poops. One day in a moment of excitement, she expressed, in her super sweet angelic voice, that she needed to go number two. I swooped her up and ran her into the bathroom, only to have her turn into a raging exorcist worthy….
“NOOOOOOOOOOO, MOMMMMMMMY I POOP IN MY DIAAAAAPER!”
Mom reactionary moments like that make me question how my neighbors haven’t called the authorities.
Piper and I continue to have deeply intelligent and philosophical conversations about potty training, and she tells me very matter of fact:
“Mommy, I like my diapers…I don’t want to go on the potty — you wipe my butt!”
And you know what? That’s good enough for me. I’m throwing in the towel — for now anyway — at least until she is ready to potty train.
This kid loves singing “I Am Moana” at the top of her voice and is a fiercely independent little girl who just happens to really love pooping in her diaper.
She is not fooled by bribery or sticker charts. She will happily accept the bribes, giving me false hope, only to say,
“No mommy, no potty member (remember), I eat lollipop…k?”
She has even appeased me by putting her stuffed animal, “Bob the Broccoli” on the froggy potty.
There is a very small part of me that is beating myself up for succumbing to the unrealistic pressures of being the perfect mother and subscribing to those unwritten — and written rules — for feeling this need to potty train my kid by a certain age or for comparing her to her big sisters.
Of course, I am pretty tired of wiping her ass, but let’s face it, even when she is potty trained, I’ll still be wiping it. But even more so, I am so over the wet sheets when she pees through even the “best nighttime” diapers that advertise “no leaking”. Total load of crap, no pun intended, this kid could pee through anything. (The laundry in my house is endless…but that’s a whole other blog post)
So for now, I’ll embrace this stage, and trust that my feisty daughter will know when she is good and ready to go “poopy on the potty.”
If I am still wiping her ass when she’s 7, then, we can talk.
Good luck to all you potty training moms out there — We got this!